We teach our children how to believe and what their reality looks like. We tell them what's acceptable. For example, we tell them that after you graduate from high school, you go on to get your bachelor’s, then your masters, get a real job, one that provides security, such as insurance and benefits, get married, have children… and the cycle of pre-programmed expectations goes on and on. If this is our belief to establishing success in life then how many of us fail, fall short or complete all these things yet still feel unfulfilled.
In our society our beliefs are constructed from a primary model-- The HAVE-DO-BE Model. For example, when you HAVE the things you want, you will DO the things you need to, then you will BE happy (and so on). Going back to the previous example in that we are taught to go to school get a degree because this will provide us with success and title. We are told to get a job because this will provide us money and security. We are told to get married because this will make us feel complete, loved and fulfilled.
The truth is we are all created with happiness, joy, purpose, passion, love... This is within us! If you do not believe me, then find an infant and observe them. They radiate love and joy. Just watch a nurtured toddler run around with no care in the world. They are incredibly intuitive and live in the moment. They don't look for things to make them happy. They don't do things for reward (until we train them to). They don't need a title or letters behind their name to give them validation. They are the breathtaking, adorable, living examples of pure love.
This love is always within us, just somewhere along the way we buried it deep within in order to show up the way the world was asking us to. We buried OUR truth, our passion, our purpose, all to fit in on the planet. Our Divine Design Model (as I like to call it) is the BE-DO-HAVE Model. This is the innate order within our being and one we teach to deny. When we choose to BE happy, we will be organically drawn to the activities that allow us to express this happiness, then we will attract the resources (things) necessary.
So, where do we go from here? Now that we've established a little awareness, how do we go about re-programming our beliefs to reflect our authentic nature? Here are some suggested starting points...
1) Accept that CHANGE is inevitable. In order to create a more authentic belief system and life experience you must accept that there will be some discomfort. Just like going to the gym to increase tone and strength of a muscle there's going to be some growing pains. Please note that suffering is different than minor discomfort. Suffering is a choice and one that comes from resistance to change in one way or another. I highly recommend the minor discomforts of expansion over the alternative ;)
2) Deepen your awareness around your current belief system. For example, if you believe you are fat, then where/who did this come from? Did you have a mother who constantly dieted and yo-yo-ed with exercise? Did you witness her judging herself in the mirror? Did a school mate say that you were fat to friends of yours in grade school? Keep exploring the truth relative to the belief. The answers with soon come to you.
3) Up to this point you have had a "pay off" with the existing belief. Now it is time to discover exactly what your pay off has been. The pay off can look like sympathy, pity, shame, guilt, temporary validation, blame, and so on. This one can be a bit uncomfortable, but I promise the discomfort is way less uncomfortable than the previously lived option... you just don't know it yet because it's still the unknown to you.
4) I strongly encourage you to have a solid and sound support system. As the adage goes, "misery loves company", so the existing environment you've created supports the existing belief. Once you start taking away misery from your misery enabler they will begin to feel the effects of the deprivation and do what it takes to get their fix. It is important to find the support of others who have gone through this process and can offer a different perspective. Finding a congruent tribe, in my opinion, is a MUST. We are NOT alone. Processing all this garbage internally will continue to recycle the same outcomes. In order to get back to your BE, the majority of the initial focus will be on the DO. Why? In order to unDO, you must DO. The old actions reflected the old belief. Once you begin doing and moving in the opposite direction you will open up new pathways of deeper understanding and alignment.
5) Now's the time to focus on your true goals and desires. What are you inspired to? Begin writing down affirmations and be sure to start them with "I AM..."; I am are the two highest vibrational words on this planet. Anything that follows those words is a direct order from Divine, so be careful what you order.
In my practice, I stress the importance of letting go of the outcome and how it shows up. If you can grasp this gem, you will be golden! We are constantly receiving what we are asking for but not always in the way or the timing we think it should. Be OPEN and flexible.
6) Last, be consistent! The more you flex this muscle the stronger it will get. The more you will accept personal responsibility with ease and grace. Be patient with yourself and ask your tribe to hold you accountable to life you aspire.
Everyone is destined for greatness. It is our divine right. Now is your time. Get to work and start sharing your light with this world.
Many blessings to you.